Paulie,

On our walk together, we saw the pieces of us set in fey. I want to apologize. I can never express myself the way I want to. I only write to you now so you know what I saw– if only I could look you straight in the eye. 

The morning light kissed your cheeks, and by nightfall, I took your place. It was familiar and blue. The sun moved alongside us that day and became an embodiment of our transience. There was palpable hesitancy in the air as our conversations slowly confirmed the last day of our relationship. 

I’m sorry I winced through the sour taste of our once-sweet passion. You peeled yourself apart for me, and over time, I no longer sweetened that fruit. 

Our love became overripe, and I got used to it. I didn’t notice how drastically the taste had changed. I tend to romanticize things, and it was hard to let you go. I kept running my hands along the slates of those fences, trying to find a latch. We could’ve kept walking if I had found its gate sooner. 

Thank you for walking with me.

We recalled memories as we walked, the weight of their layers splitting us open and spilling us out. If I were to walk back along that path, would we find our cores scattered along the pavement?

I missed it all, and I couldn’t find you.

The sun was blazing in my eyes; its rays grazed your cheek. Coulees behind you, the sky looked so much bigger. Tan solo la pared de atrás y el sol delineando cada detalle, me imagino como me has visto.       

I hope you’re doing okay.

I love you still,